Parenting Support
Honolulu, Hilo and Hawaii Telehealth
You do not need to bring your kid. This one is for you.
Maybe your child is going through something and you do not know how to help. Maybe the discipline that worked at six is not working at twelve. Maybe you are so tired and so far past your own limit that you do not like who you are becoming as a parent, and you have no one to say that to.
Or maybe the problem is not the child at all. It is the adults. An ex who undermines every rule you set. A new partner who does not know where they fit with your children. Grandparents doing half the raising and all of the disagreeing. Two households, two sets of rules, and a child bouncing between them.
Either way, this is the place for it. The parents, or the adults around a child, with someone who can help you think.
Why parents need their own room
Every parent has been told to put the oxygen mask on themselves first. Almost none of us do it. You are the one everyone comes to, and there is nowhere you go. Parenting support is that place. It is not therapy for your child, and it is not family counseling with everyone present. It is you, working out how to be the parent you want to be, with someone who has seen a lot of families and is not going to judge yours.
Sometimes what comes up is practical: how to set a boundary that holds, how to handle a child who has started lying, what to do about a teenager who has stopped talking. Sometimes what comes up is yours: the way you were parented, the fear you are repeating it, the guilt that never switches off.
When the problem is between the adults
The kids feel every bit of the tension between the adults, whether anyone says a word. Co-parents who cannot be in the same room without it becoming about the past. A stepparent trying to find their place without stepping on anyone. Two parents who disagree about how to raise the kids, and the disagreement has become a wedge. Parents and grandparents at odds over discipline, culture, or who is really in charge.
The child may not need to be in the room at all. The work is between the adults, and it is some of the most important work a family can do.
In Hawaiʻi
Here, family is rarely just two parents and their kids. It is tūtū, aunties, uncles, hānai relationships, cousins who are basically siblings. That is one of the best things about raising children in these islands. It also means more people with a stake, more history, and more ways for the adults to end up at odds over a child they all love. Parenting support can be the one place where you get to sort out your own voice in all of it.
What we do
We listen first, to what is actually happening at home, not what you think you are supposed to say about it. Then we work together on the specific situation in front of you, with practical tools you can use. When it is two or more adults, we help you talk to each other about the child instead of through the child: separating the old grievances from the current decisions, agreeing on the handful of things that actually matter for the kids, and finding a way to disagree about the rest without it landing on them.
Our counselors include licensed marriage and family therapists and clinicians with years of experience with children, teenagers, and the adults raising them. If it turns out the whole family would benefit from being in the room, we will say so, and family counseling is there when you want it.
This page is for you if
You have a child or teenager who is struggling and you do not know how to help
You are stuck on discipline, boundaries, or a behavior that will not stop
You are exhausted, short-tempered, and not the parent you want to be right now
You and your co-parent, ex, partner, or your own parents cannot agree on how to raise the kids
You are a stepparent trying to find your place
You want to break a pattern from your own childhood and are afraid you cannot
How to reach us
Call (808) 640-6252 or send a message through our contact form. We see clients at our Hilo office, our Honolulu office, and by telehealth anywhere in Hawaiʻi.
We are in network with HMSA, HMSA QUEST, HMAA, UHA, and Blue Cross Blue Shield.
