Conflict Resolution Counseling
Honolulu, Hilo and Hawaii Telehealth
You know how it goes because it always goes the same way. One of you says the thing. The other one hears it wrong. Voices rise, or one person shuts down, and twenty minutes later you are exactly where you started, with one more layer of resentment.
It might be with your partner. Your sister. Your business partner. Your teenager. Your mother. The details change and the shape does not.
What conflict actually is
Most conflict is not about the thing you are arguing about. It is about feeling unheard, disrespected, or unsafe, and the argument is the only tool either of you has for saying so. That is why the same fight keeps coming back. You have not resolved the surface issue because the surface issue was never the issue.
Some people avoid it entirely. They give in, keep the peace, and quietly build a life around never saying what they need. That is conflict too. It is just conflict within yourself.
In Hawaiʻi
Here, a lot of us are taught that harmony matters more than being right, and that raising your voice or making a scene brings shame on the family. That produces a lot of people who are very good at keeping the peace and very bad at getting their needs met. It also produces families and workplaces where nothing is ever actually resolved. Learning to have the hard conversation well, without losing the aloha, is a skill, and it can be learned.
What we do
We help you see the pattern first, because you cannot change a pattern you are inside of. Then we work on how you enter the conversation, how you stay in it when it gets hard, and how you come out of it with something resolved instead of something buried. We can do this with you alone or with the other person in the room. Our counselors who are trained in conflict resolution approaches draw on restorative practice, which focuses on repairing the relationship rather than winning the fight.
This page is for you if
You have the same argument with the same person and it never goes anywhere
You avoid conflict so completely that you never get what you need
A dispute at work, in your family, or in your business is affecting your health
You want to repair a relationship that a fight has damaged
You are tired of either exploding or shutting down and want a third option
How to reach us
Call (808) 640-6252 or send a message through our contact form. We see clients at our Hilo office, our Honolulu office, and by telehealth anywhere in Hawaiʻi.
We are in network with HMSA, HMSA QUEST, HMAA, UHA, and Blue Cross Blue Shield.
